Recently, my family returned to our old church, and it was a very big shock. A lot of people were still there, and a lot of people had left. Some people that were on the praise team I had never imagined on the praise team. Some people were doing the same things, and others had changed so much. It was wonderful to see old friends and again it was a shock to see everybody almost three years later. A lot of my friends were gone. Knowing that some of them were gone and that we probably wouldn't see them again until heaven was hard to swallow. Then again, just being back in our old church was hard to swallow.
Right now I know that it will probably be a few years before I go back, and lots of people will probably be gone, but that doesn't matter. The point is that I really miss my old church, and it was wonderful to see people. I plan to come back to that church sometime, and right now that isn't going to happen. What really counts is the fact that it's always going to be in my memories.
My church hadn't changed in the way its fellowship went. We still same the same songs, and I still felt that we had some great singers in our church. right now as I look back on going back, I realize that I may be mad at God in some ways for allowing me to leave my church and friends. And then again, I'm not mad, because I know that where God has put me is the right place, and even though that I'll never constantly attend that church again, I'll still consider that my church, because I attended it for three years, and that will always be where "church" was.
Coming back to America was probably the hardest thing I had done in two and a half years, and holding a drunk's hand isn't' even an exception. I'd do that again a million times. But coming back to America isn't easy. Of course it isn't the people I would love to see the people again. I'd do that again a million times, probably a zillion times. But coming back to where I lived, seeing our across the street neighbors, seeing our old house, and seeing old friends is really hard, because they are now old friends, and yet they are still friends, but not people you will see regularly like most friends.
I'm getting off topic, but this sort of relates. See, when God put me in Russia, He had a big plan, and he know what I was going to feel. Even if at the time I didn't see it myself. Now fast forward three and a half years, and I almost understand why He wanted me to go through all that pain. Because it's written in the Bible that trials mature a person, not exactly in that way it's written, but it means that when you have a trial, suppose there's a bully at school, and he threatens you, and hurts other kids, including you, you may think it's the most rotten school in the world, but God is preparing you for something. Now you may not realize it, but God has a plan for you.
While I'm at the fact of moving and all this stuff, I want to say something that Dad has been urging me to say for the past 4 months: I have stress problems, and i let it out by pulling some of my hair. This does not mean you have cause to worry. Think it not contagious. I'm perfectly normal in a lot of normal ways. But could I ask you guys to pray for me? Stress problems can happen to anyone, and even though you pray about it, it can still come up, and only God can take care of it. I believe that God is already taking care of some things.
Moving on, I want to return to the fact that I miss my church already, and will remember you guys all the time. Not even my church right now can replace the wonderful memories you have left in my life. You all are amazing people, and even though I am pretty far away most of the time, you are not far away from my heart. You are pretty much in the center of it. And that raps up this blog of...well...um... mine.
Now excuse me while I go find the tissue box.