(dictated by Kerith, age 8 1/2)
Warning: only for boys to read (who don't like kissing)
It's rather hard to explain, but pink - an only girl's color - I count that can transform us boys into girls, or boys that like kissing. Why? Because the only place we boys see pink, is on - girls. We see it on bed covers, we see it on pillows, on shirts, we see pink patches, and everywhere in a girl's room, and worst of all - wallpaper! (Thank goodness my sister doesn't have pink wallpaper.) Usually when I accidentally touch pink, which, sadly enough, is very often, I feel this warm patch on the spot where I touched it. And it stays that way for a little while! It seems during that time, it is dissolving its powerful poison into us boys' bodies. I don't know what it does inside your body. I don't have the scientific materials to investigate that.
Volume II: Kissing: what to do about it.
The way I count it, when you kiss, it sends atoms from your body to the next person's body. Sooner or later, in about 10 million kisses or more, there will be a hole in one person's body, and a big bump on the other. And also, when you see kissing, it seems to me it poisons my mind and makes me want to kiss. But worst of all - on the lips. Ugh. Usually with wives and husbands, it happens when one of them leaves to the office or a grocery store or something. Even a short trip down to buy some butter or something small. Kissing happens at bed too -but that's usually on the cheek from our mom.
I'm starting a club to stop all of this. It's called the Girl Scouts. Get it? We're on the lookout for girls to capture them. So if you want to join, write me.